I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize