why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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