He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
