You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
