I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
