real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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