Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
