no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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