yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
