I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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