So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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