Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
