Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
