Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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