But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
false alarm. still invincible.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
