I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
