And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
