I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
