btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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