I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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