if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
