i think i have two assholes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
