Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
