She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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