Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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