BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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