haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
