I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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