If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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