I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
