did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
