its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
