My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
