i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
