I bet he comes in French.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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