Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
