The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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