Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
