I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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