Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
