Where did you get a picture of my penis
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Vodka?
Forever.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
