Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
