just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
