does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
