WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
