singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
