JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
