I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
