i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
