she was so not down for the gang bang
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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