I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
