im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
