sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
