She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
