dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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