just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
