I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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