No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
