She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
