Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
