apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
