Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
only you would photoshop your dick
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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