listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
